I Am A Gift?

I Am A Gift?


"This is why I told you earlier that no one is capable of coming to me on his own. You get to me only as a gift from the Father."
John 6:65 The Message


I do not like the idea of being someone else’s endowment. Being a gift sort of makes me feel purchased, wrapped and delivered. The problem I have with that idea is that I am not my own. I am someone else’s; even if it is for a moment. And I intend to be my own man.

I was walking to my car when two older women pulled up in a car to ask directions. These ladies were dressed to the nines, one of them sporting the traditional black Baptist woman’s large ornate hat. They were looking for a certain church in the area. I tried to explain where it was, but I have a man’s sense of direction. That is a nice way to say that I had no clue how to offer accurate directions. Instead, I asked the ladies to follow my lead. As we caravanned to the church my mind was blank, not really thinking that I was doing my good deed for the day or anything like that. Frankly, I relish the moments when my mind is not thinking about anything. Normally, it’s racing with plans for the day, studies to write, or nonsensical anomalies of random thought. When we got near the church, I pointed the ladies in the right direction, and they waved me over. One of the ladies grabbed my hand and thanked me for the help. I sort of brushed off her gratitude and started walking away as it really was not a big deal. But the woman persisted, “God sent you to me, young man.” I think my mouth fell open, but I said nothing.
She said, “Today, you are my blessing. Do you believe that?”
“Not really,” I replied. “Anyone would have done it.”
“I don’t believe that. I think God sent you to me as a gift. Today you are my angel, my gift,” she said. Her words made me uneasy.

I really had a hard time with what she was saying. She implied that everything I was doing was really being directed by God. As if I am Pinocchio turned into a real person, but still attached to the strings that only God can control. I’d like to think I can make up my own mind, make my own choices and be my own man. Meanwhile, this verse screams out to me that my coming to believe in Jesus is hardly my own choice. It is a weird dichotomy that while I get to choose to follow Jesus, God also chose me, gift wrapped me, and handed me over to Jesus. And, I cannot process that in a way that makes sense. Maybe the thing I need to do is be okay with these dual truths as they are. Maybe when I grow up, I’ll even like being gift wrapped for a pair of directionally challenged elderly ladies, a wife and a Savior.
*******************************************************************************
From: Thoughts on faith from a sinful man
Author: Eric MontgomeryCopyright ©2009