Are You Done Trying To Fix Yourself?

Are You Done Trying To Fix Yourself?


You have died with Christ, and he has set you free from the spiritual powers of this world. So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires.
Colossians 2:20-23 New Living Translation


I have a few besetting sins that I hardly talk about. I guess I am too embarrassed to come clean on their nature. Over the years I have tried books, prayer, setting up roadblocks to prevent myself from getting involved, and then, I sin again. I feel stricken and beaten down by my recurring sin. Many times I wonder what is wrong with me that I struggle with the same things over and over again. I quoted Bible verses to myself like Romans 6 where it says that I have died to sin, been freed from sin, was a slave to sin and am now free from sin and a slave to God and righteousness, that the law of the Spirit of life has set me free from the law of sin. I wrote a verse from Revelation on a piece of paper and pinned it to my nightstand and to my heart. Revelation 1:6 says that the one that loves us has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father. Okay, even with an apparent freedom and a new title, I still found my way to sinning even deeper than I thought I would go. I wonder if my depth of sin was not rising, but that I was just more aware of it and how inbred it was (is) in my being. None of the Bible quotes or obsessing over my sin made me better.

I realize that what I am mostly doing when I quote the Bible verses is depending on them as if they are a magical spell. Say this verse three times and all your troubles disappear. No, not really. Follow the rules and act spiritual and your desire for sinful behavior will dissipate. Mmm . . . don’t think so. Don’t get me wrong, we should try; we should follow God as best we can; we should read the scriptures so that we can know the heart and mind of the Father and what He wants to do in us, and we should set boundaries of accountability. But none of those things are the end-all for our sin disorder. God intends to use those sins in the sanctification process. He intends to use the guilt we feel after joyfully committing those sins to work maturity into our lives. And guess what, over time you will find that you are better than you used to be. It wasn’t you or your rules; it was the work of God’s Holy Spirit causing the changes. Coming to this conclusion is what I misunderstood in all the Bible verses I quoted; God sometimes speaks in terms of completion, but for us, the work is ongoing until the breath leaves our bodies.

Prayer: Dear Father, please don’t stop! Please finish what you’ve started in me, so that in the end, we can be together. I can’t make it or even get better without you. I need you, Father. Amen.